Tuesday, September 16, 2014

You don't know how it feels, to be meeeee.....

Tom Petty and the Heart Breakers Concert in August (amaze balls)

I guess that is always the case, you never know what someone else's life is like.  Unless they decide to blog about it.

The last time I blogged, life was busy with work, working on my degree, and the kids and for some silly reason I thought maybe it would have slowed down by now (6 months later) but it really has not.  Even with taking several months off from AMU.  I don't think that's a bad thing either, I can't imagine having a slow paced life at this point.
During one of my travels this year, Airline lost my luggage so all I had was one change of clothes, my laptop, and what they gave me at the front desk.


So what's been going on since then... In April I bought a house and I absolutely love it!  A few days after moving in, I left to California for a school.
My Zen Garden

 I finished the school in May while I was there I got an answer I'd been waiting two years for.  They found the remains of my friend, SPC Kelli Bordeaux, and got a confession from the individual that murdered her.  So I was back in my home for a couple days before I headed to Fort Bragg for all of 24 hours to attend her services, at which my best friend Juli was one of the guest speakers.  It was very moving, but I'd be lying if I said I'm over what happened to her, I don't think that's something you ever get over you just have to learn to keep living and try to learn whatever you can from it.

The packed All American Chapel at Fort Bragg for Kelli's Service.

My best friend Juli spoke so beautifully and eloquently at Kelli's service, she never stops amazing me with her talents.

I was home for nearly 4 weeks before I packed up again for Annual Training in June.  AT was awesome.  The commander chose me to compete in our Best Warrior Competition as the Non-commissioned Officer of the Year, looking down at my chest I saw specialist rank.  No matter, a few days later on the last day of AT my kids pinned me with Sergeant rank. 

All of the time I spent away from my then boyfriend made me realize that we were truly so different.  I started to think about if I could see myself being happily married to him (we'd been dating for a year and a half) and honestly, he's such a great person that I probably could have been happy.  But the thing is, there's just so much more I want to do in this life and I'd be downright selfish to marry someone like him.  Joey and Jarren and the rest of my family are obviously my number one priority, but in order to continue to provide for them my career comes in second to them.  Once they are grown and it's no longer my duty to provide for them my career would have shifted into my number one priority, and that's not something most partners want to hear.  I felt terrible to say it, but I was totally honest, I know that I am being selfish by focusing on me right now but it is working and I want to keep doing it. 

After the break up, the rest of my summer flew by even faster.  I submerged myself into my work and studying/ training for Best Warrior.  Winning the Battalion level just meant more weekends sacrificed and more work to get ready for State level.  I'd be lying if I said I wasn't really stoked that I won, because I was the only female competitor and... well that's it, I was the only female and part of the competition was getting over the intimidation of being the only female in the running.  Part of me is completely ready for it to just be over with so I can get back to my degree plan and take the heavy burden of not letting my unit down the other part of me wants to surprise myself with what I am capable of doing.  Everyone says it, you're only competing against yourself.

Getting back into rucking.

I hate rapelling.
Super fun 13.1 mile obstacle course with friends!

9.11 mile run with my brothers and sisters on 9/11/2014

Aside from giving me a reason to work on myself as a soldier, one of the neat things about this competition is that it gives you opportunities for schools you may not normally get to go to, and I have my mind set on one that I'd really like to do.  But I'm keeping it to myself until I get into the school because it's one of those ones that people will just look at you and say, "why on earth would you WANT to do that?!"

Well, that about sums up the major changes in the last 6 months of my life.  I finally watched Black Hawk Down, it was amazing and I'm kind of pissed no one ever made me watch it before.  I've read more books in the past 6 months than I have in the 6 years prior to that.  Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn was so good!  I can't wait to see the movie, starring Ben Affleck, it's coming out in just a few weeks!  I just finished No Easy Day by Mark Owen and Kevin Maurer and I tell you, if I wasn't already in the military, I'd sign up after reading it!  Not only does it give a first hand account of the mission to kill Bin Laden, but he goes into details about his childhood, the training leading up to the SEALS, and several missions that turned out to be great learning experiences.  I'd really like to date an Operator at some point... so if you know anyone... :)